Philadelphia - March 2024
My relationship with Philadelphia is a complicated one.
I used to live just outside of Philly for about five years with an ex whose family were all Philadelphia born and raised. When that relationship imploded and I left, I didn’t think I would ever return.
A little over a decade later, I found myself freezing my ass off while hustling my son down Walnut Street, promising to get him a soft pretzel as soon as humanly possible.
Since John has extended family in the area and had never been to the City of Brotherly Love, we took a quick family trip during spring break to check it out, meet with family, hang out with some of my friends, and do what we do best—eat and drink really damn well.
Pro-Tips for Surviving Air Travel & Urban Treks with Kids
Will has been my adventure buddy since he was six months old, and through trial, tears, and error, we’ve discovered what works for us while traveling and what definitely doesn’t.
Frontier Doesn’t Have Wi-Fi or Charging Ports
On its nose, a $70 roundtrip airfare sounds awesome - and it is, if you’re traveling solo with a carry-on on your shoulder and a song in your heart. But if you’re a parent, you should know that Frontier does not have Wi-Fi on the plane or charging ports at the seats.
This is fine if your kid doesn’t have a tablet, but mine does, and he digs watching clips from Jurassic Park while flying. He’s absorbed and quiet, I get a chance to read in peace, and everyone is happy.
Frontier will also nickel-and-dime you for snacks, drinks, and bags. By the time you’re all in, you might as well have booked a flight on Delta or American for the same cost with all the amenities.
Was it the world’s worst experience? No, but traveling is stressful enough. Why add roadblocks?
A Travel Stroller and Travel Car Seat Will Save Your Life
We log miles when we travel because walking is pretty much the best way to explore a city. For all the energy Will has, he can’t walk five miles a day. We use the GB Pockit Air All Terrain, and it is an absolute lifesaver.
It folds up compact, is free to check at the gate, weighs only about 10 lbs, and handles like a dream on city sidewalks and bumpy terrain.
Since Will was born, we’ve jackassed this thing to St. Thomas, Clearwater, Sunfest, a boat in Paris, the metro in Madrid, Asheville, New Braunfels, Philly, Los Angeles, and Nevada.
Our carseat is a Cosco Scenera Next Convertible Car Seat and it’s perfect for travel. Lightweight (I’ve strapped it to my back and Sherpa’d it around an airport while pushing bags) and easy to install in pretty much any car.
I’m not getting a kickback for these; they’re just a solid products I recommend to every traveling family.
Pack Light, Do Laundry
I know that doing chores on vacation sounds like a special circle of hell, but having clean clothes, especially layers in a cold climate, and not having to face a mountain of laundry when you come home? It’s a clutch move.
Where We Stayed and How We Got Around:
We stayed at an Airbnb in the Gray’s Ferry neighborhood and rented a Chevy Traverse. Philly is a pretty walkable city, but since we wanted to cover a lot of ground and had a larger family headcount to coordinate, we needed a car. If you stay strictly in Old City, Rittenhouse Square, or Center City, you can probably avoid driving altogether and rely on SEPTA’s public transportation.
Our rental was a beautiful four-story row home with a rooftop deck boasting a killer view of the skyline. Unfortunately, temperatures plummeted during our stay, but for about 45 minutes, it was a lovely spot to sit in the sunshine, squint directly into the retinas-burning sun, and enjoy a glass of wine.
When To Visit Philly
Philadelphia is a super kid-friendly city - more so during the warmer months when they have endless green spaces for kids to explore and play. Though we were on Spring Break, we arrived at the very tail end of winter. Unfortunately, a lot of cool seasonal spots like the Bok Bar Rooftop, dining outside on the Moshulu, and the pop-up beer gardens weren’t open yet.
If you’re planning a trip with kids, go during summer or, better yet, fall.
Fall in Pennsylvania is unmatched - the weather is crisp, and there are a million autumn-themed activities, hayrides, pumpkin patches, and local spots selling truly excellent fresh cider and spice cookies.
Erin Go Home…Unless You’re 21
With a sizable Irish-American population, Philly goes all out for St. Patrick's Day, but keep two important things in mind:
Check the dates: If you're looking to do St. Paddy's events, you might want to get there a week early. We missed a majority of the festivities because the city held its parade on March 11. Which... why?
No Minors Allowed: A majority of my favorite Irish pubs in the city - Fado’s, Tir Na Nog, and The Plough and Stars - do not admit minors on St. Patrick’s Day. No matter how much you say, "Can you guys just be cool? My kid’s been falling asleep in Irish pubs pretty much his whole life."
Burning Off Energy in Doylestown and Lahaska
To make up for the pub restrictions, we headed an hour out of town to Kids Castle at Central Park in Doylestown, PA.
If you have kids, this is a must-visit spot. The play structure is enormous (albeit a little claustrophobic for an adult, even if that adult happens to be barely five feet tall).
Will had a blast running around, exploring, and climbing on everything - even when a teeny little blonde terrorist knocked him down. As I was comforting him, I told him I hoped the little girl got her ponytail caught in something, which warranted a dirty look or two from the surrounding suburban parents. But here’s the deal:
Karma is a cat
Purring in my lap ‘cause it loves me
Flexing like a goddamn acrobat
Me and karma vibe like that
Afterward, we grabbed lunch and a drink at Peddler’s Village in Lahaska, PA, a historic village that was hosting a kid-friendly St. Patrick’s Day event with Irish dancers and a gold coin hunt.
They also have an incredible coffee-and-magic-themed gift shop called The Cloak and Wand that feels like it was designed by a Disney Imagineer.
That night, the rest of the family came into town and we ended up at Craft Hall back in the city. It’s a genius, super kid-friendly venue featuring an indoor playground, arcade, and genuinely good food. Think less Chuck E. Cheese and more an indoor picnic in the park with your favorite cousins.
Somewhere In The Swamps of New Jersey
When the temperature dropped even further, we needed indoor activities to keep everyone occupied, so we did what any reasonable person would do: we headed to New Jersey.
It’s the ancestral home of Bruce Springsteen which basically makes it a Holy Land, the Gaslight Anthem are from New Brunswick and it’s also the setting for so many things I love - Judy Blume books (I found myself driving through Rahway a few years ago and literally yelled, “Oh my God! This is where Deenie is from!” - y’know, like normal people do), the Kevin Smith universe, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Empire Records and The Sopranos.
Oh and they have literally the best pizza I’ve ever had in my life at Birravino in Red Bank.
Please go to New Jersey and eat this exact pizza.
We visited the Adventure Aquarium just across the river in Camden, and it’s easily one of the country’s better aquariums. Beyond the shark tunnel, penguins, and a suspended rope bridge over a live shark tank, they have hippos.
Being from Florida, my son was appropriately scared of sharks because I’ve impressed upon him that the ocean is nothing more than a giant bowl of murder soup but he was not scared of the hippos. So much so that he wanted to climb into the tank with them.
Let’s keep with the Jersey theme while I explain what a hippo actually is.
Imagine Ronnie Ortiz-Magro (I hate that I know his full name) from Jersey Shore. Now, imagine him about 500lbs heavier and all roid raged up with a jaw that could pretty much unhinge and crush a watermelon.
Now, do you see why a little amuse-bouche like you should probably stay out of the tank? Yeah. Probably for the best.
Philly Museum Roundup: The Hits and the Misses
| Museum | The Verdict | Best For |
|---|---|---|
| The Academy of Natural Sciences | A+ Must-Visit | Dino-obsessed toddlers. Will's favorite museum - it's small and you could probably see it in two hours but for a dino-obsessed kid like Will, it made a huge impact. Not only did he get to see some very cool fossils but he got to play archeologist and “discover” buried bones. Swear to God, my kid and my dog might just be the same person. My favorite part of the museum were the lifesize dioramas. There are 37 dioramas in the museum, most of them created between 1930s and 1950s. The attention to detail and artwork is captivating. |
| The Franklin Institute | A+ Must-Visit | Everyone. They had an exhibit on kinesiology and the science behind sports featuring hometown favorite, the Phillie Phanatic who is basically Gritty if Gritty had a stable home life and access to fluoridated water. They also feature a rite of passage for all kids growing up in Southeastern Pennsylvania - charging through a huge model of the human heart and their educators are passionate, engaged and make science fun for adults and kids. |
| National Constitution Center | A (Save for older kids) | History buffs and adults. The National Constitution Center was probably my favorite museum due to their expertly curated exhibits on the Civil War, suffrage and the First Amendment. I don’t think Will enjoyed it too much but in about a decade or so, I want to take him back so he can get more out of the experience. |
| Eastern State Penitentiary | B+ (For older kids) | True crime fans and history lovers. They’ve got some thought-provoking exhibits (including Al Capone’s finely furnished cell from his stint in the prison) on the American penal system and incarceration rates in the United States but it’s definitely something an older kid with an interest in law and justice would appreciate more than a three year old.Oh and fun fact. Don’t let your kid touch the walls because they have asbestos and shit on them. We weren’t told this until about five minutes before we left and Will had been grabbing up a storm, so that was fun and not terrifying at all. |
| The US Mint | Skip | It's free but unless your kid is into coin collecting, I’d skip it. |
No-One Like Us. We Don’t Care
Philadelphia is my favorite sports town. No-one loves anything as much as some random dude in South Philly loves the Eagles, Phillies, 76ers or Flyers. .
Philadelphia is the only city on the planet where a creature as chaotic and mesmerizing as Gritty could be breathed to life.
And do I even have to bring up what happened to that city when the Eagles won the Superbowl?
Sure fuckin’ do because my God, the streets ran yellow wit Whiz, grown men shimmied up Crisco-slathered poles and the city became the Fucktomb we always knew it was.
The unofficial slogan of the Eagles is, “No-one likes us. We don’t care,” which is the kind of beautifully cheeky middle finger that can only be found in Philadelphia…and Millwall where they stole it from.
If I wasn’t so committed to having my heart shattered any given Sunday by the Dolphins and wasn’t so completely in love with shit-talking-pot-banging Miami Heat Twitter - in another life, I might be a Philly sports fan.
Did Y’All Eat?
Philadelphia is so much more than hoagies and cheesesteaks and just doesn’t get enough credit for its food scene. In addition to the best sandwiches in the world, they also have killer Mexican food, Irish pub food, Italian food and the bestbestbest baked goods.
There’s something in the water in Philly that makes the bread taste amazing. At this point, I don’t even care if it’s the dead bodies of Cowboys fans fished out of the Schuykill. The bread is that good.
Carbs on Carbs on Carbs
If you don’t go to Reading Terminal Market, did you even go to Philly? We stopped there twice and Will feasted - fruity pebbles treats and ube (yup, ube - he picked it out) macarons from Flying Monkey Patisserie while I had one of the best bagels I’ve ever eaten in my life at Kismet Bagels.
Nope. Fuck you, New York. Your bagel game is weak in comparison. Also, the Jets suck.
Reading Terminal Market. Philadelphia.
This bagel with cream cheese and Amish-made strawberry jam was life-changing.
My plan is to go back when Will is a little older so we can take the bagel-making class together.
University City, Philadelphia.
Spread specializes in Montreal-style bagels which means they’re boiled in honey water and malt and then, wood-fired.
Approximately a billion times better than your average NYC hockey puck. Look, this isn’t an NYC hate blog; I just think the city has better marketing and worse food than a lot of places.
Victory Brewing Company.
Logan Square, Philadelphia
I’ve had soft pretzels in Munich that weren't as good as the ones in Philly. We ordered them everywhere. Victory Brewing Company has an excellent one which comes with a thicky, grainy mustard and a savory beer cheese. Honorable mention is the pretzel from Fergie’s Pub which is softer, sweeter and the perfect fuel to share with your kid on a freezing evening.
The Best Way To Start The Day
Fitler Square, Philadelphia.
We started our trip here and Will still talks about the giant mouse pancake he had. Meanwhile, I will forever bang on about the fact that I have friends who will drink French 75s with me at breakfast. These are definitely my forever people.
Bella Vista, Philadelphia.
In addition to having truly excellent breakfast food - real maple syrup, housemade hot sauce and ketchup and peach and berry preserves and giant fluffy biscuits - the Morning Glory also made a strong political statement that I am 100% down with.
That statement being Trump is an asshole and belongs in prison.
Fishtown, Philadelphia.
We also had a pretty fantastic breakfast in Fishtown which was seemingly dedicated to my joy and spiritual fulfillment.
Did I order a creme brûlée latte with Bailey’s? Yes. Yes, I did.
Is that a caramelized pecan pancake and little lego tower of French Toast with creme Anglaise? Again, yes. Yes, it is.
Considering I’m a girl who considers a cup of coffee breakfast, this was indulgent as hell but I’m really glad we stopped in.
Red Sauce Joints
Philly has the second largest Italian-American population in the country and as a result, the red sauce joints in the city are some of the best in the world.
Ralph’s has been around for a century and Will went nuts on their spaghetti with gravy,
South Philadelphia
I still dream about this spinach and ricotta stuffed eggplant.
Rittenhouse Square, Philadelphia
I don’t know what kind of mozzarella they use but I have a greater appreciation of why my people believe cows to be sacred.
Mom Pro-Tip:
When traveling with a kid, seek out kid-friendly breweries.
We were in Germany a few years ago and noticed that beer halls were family-oriented with kids going to town on brats and soft pretzels while their parents enjoyed a beer and quality time together.
Will is no stranger to breweries and taprooms and the Yards Brewing Company taproom in Northern Liberties is an excellent place to enjoy a drink…especially if your kid is exhausted from running around a museum.
I think any parent will agree that vacationing with a kid is exhausting and sometimes, it is a straight up act of the Notorious G.O.D. when your kid falls asleep and you get a chance to have a cocktail in peace.
The Takeaway
When I left Philadelphia over a decade ago, I didn’t think I would ever return and I really didn’t think I would return with my family but life throws you curveballs and you swing as best you can.
So far when it comes to traveling, I think we’ve got Richie Ashburn numbers. A few bumps along the way but for the most part, it’s pretty decent.
I’m looking forward to going back to Philly again with Will and his uncles in tow, but until then - we’re gonna keep hanging out at breweries, making each other laugh and planning our next adventure.
