Master Grill Mediterranean: Lentil Patties

British writer Elizabeth David explained the concept of Mediterranean food best when she says that it comes, “from Gibraltar to the Bosphorus, down the Rhone Valley, through the great seaports of Marseille, Barcelona, and Genoa, across to Tunis and Alexandria, embracing all the Mediterranean islands, Corsica, Sicily, Sardinia, Crete, the Cyclades, Cyprus (where the Byzantine influence begins to be felt), to the mainland of Greece and the much disputed territories of Syria, the Lebanon, Constantinople, and Smyrna.”

So many miles, so many cultures, SO much good food. I can’t define it as eloquently as David did in her book, but to me, Mediterranean food is typically any food culture which elevates the olive - whether in oil, tapenade, fresh salads or simply marinated with citrus zest and herbs alongside a cold drink.

I had high hopes for Master Grill Mediterranean on Clematis because pretty much every fast casual Mediterranean joint I’ve tried (Cava, Olive U and Anzo) has been excellent.

Those hopes burned down quicker than the Library of Alexandria.

The cold vegan lentil patties appetizer ($7.95) from Master Grill Mediterranean on Clematis Street, West Palm Beach.

The Spot: Master Grill Mediterranean

• Location: 400 Clematis St #103, West Palm Beach, FL 33401

• Vibe: Clean, sparse fast-casual lunch spot (that stays open for dinner) with counter services.

 

The Bite: Lentil Patties

• Price: $7.95

• Vegetarian Status: Vegan

The Flavor Breakdown

Red lentils cook fast, absorb flavor beautifully and they’re a nutritional powerhouse with 18 grams of protein and 15.6 grams of fiber per one cooked cup. They’re a family favorite in my house and I make dal once every couple of weeks so I was really looking forward to eating them.

The menu said they were served cold, the guy behind the counter reiterated that they were in fact a cold dish and when we got them, we expected a cold dish.

But this really is a dish that should be served warm.

They were fine. The flavor is mild and really appreciate the fresh parsley…but God, throw these things on the grill, get a little crisp on them and they would be great.

The Bonus Bite: Falafel Pita

I also ordered a falafel pita ($14.95) (sorry - no photo but it looked exactly like this image on Yelp) and it was…

Y’know how they have Girl Dinner? This was Sad Girl Dinner.

Four half dollar sized falafel patties served on a bed of lettuce, tomatoes and a shower of thinly-sliced sumac onions with a condiment cup of tahini on the side. The tahini was rich, nutty and creamy and the pita was soft, fresh and pillowy but everything else was just kinda….bland. It needed tzatziki or zhug or feta or pickled turnips or a drizzle of olive oil. In its current incarnation, it’s less a good sandwich and more necessary sustenance for someone with ARFID.

The Beverage: Sprite

• Price: $1.95

Grabbed a can of Sprite from the cooler. I think drinking gallons of sparkling water has broken me because I swear, Sprite would be better if it was half as sweet and twice as carbonated.

One Mouthy Sandwich Girl Rating:

• Flavor & Freshness:

  • 🥪 🥪

  • Freshness is not the issue - the pita was excellent and the summer tomatoes were ripe - but the flavor just isn’t there.

• Value for Buck:

  • 🥪

  • It’s hard out here for a restauranteur and it’s practically goddamn impossible for a restaurant owner on Clematis due to usurous rents and cutthroat competition. Unfortunately, Master Grill Mediterranean’s prices reflect the real estate as opposed to the plate. My husband ordered the chicken skewer platter featuring a single grilled chicken skewer, a side of bulgur, a side house salad and pita for $22.95. Souvlaki Grill on Belvedere does two grilled chicken skewers a Greek salad loaded with feta, pita bread, tzatziki and a side of your choice (rice, fries or roasted potatoes) for $16.

• Vegetarian Variety:

  • 🥪 🥪 🥪 🥪

  • The entire appetizer menu is vegetarian-friendly and you can get falafel subbed on every major menu category except for the burgers.

• The Verdict:

  • 🥪 🥪

  • The service is great - friendly, prompt and efficient and I deeply want small businesses - especially ones on Clematis - to succeed. But Master Grill Mediterranean just isn’t there yet. Throw in some fresh condiments and some pickles and throw those lentil patties on the grill (and hell, make a grilled lentil patty burger) and they just might get there.